Vulnerable woman writes ‘incredibly moving’ statement allowing daughter’s adoption
A woman with mental health difficulties has been praised by a family court judge after deciding to let her toddler daughter be adopted because she cannot meet the youngster’s needs.
Judge Sarah Lynch said the woman had written an “incredibly moving” statement and said she hoped one day the girl would be able to read her mother’s words.
The judge said it was obvious how much the woman loved her daughter.
She said she could not imagine the pain the woman had suffered.
Detail of the case has emerged in a ruling published by Judge Lynch following a private family court hearing in Leeds.
She said the child could not be identified in media reports of the case.
Council social services bosses had asked the judge to make decisions about the girl’s future.
Social workers said she would not be safe in the care of her mother, who had long-term mental health difficulties.
No other family members were able to care for the girl and social workers thought adoption was the best option.
Judge Lynch said the woman had realised she was not well enough to be the “mum she needed to be” and had made an “extremely brave decision”.
“I hope she gets placed with a really good family who will love her how I love her and will bring her up right and protect her,” the woman told the judge in her statement.
“I know I am doing the right thing and I just want her to know that I love her and always will.”
Judge Lynch said the girl had gone into temporary foster care pending long-term decisions about her future.
The woman had been allowed to visit the youngster.
But the woman said visits were too difficult and told the judge: “I have not had contact for some time now, not because I do not love (her), but because it is simply too hard for me to go and leave her again.”
Judge Lynch described the woman’s words as “incredibly moving”.
“(The woman) has been able to understand what her daughter needs and to realise that very sadly she is not able to give her that,” said the judge.
“I cannot imagine how painful this has all been for her.
“It is obvious from her statement how much she loves her daughter and how she has only made the decision she has because of that love.
“There is nothing I can say that will make that pain any less, but hopefully by recording her words in this judgment I can make sure that (the girl) when she is older hears what her mum decided and why, in her mum’s own words.”
‘INCREDIBLY MOVING’ STATEMENT
The woman’s statement in full:
“At the current time one minute I am poorly and the next I am not.
“One minute I could care for her and then the next minute I would not be able to.
“I do not feel that this would be good for (her).
“I feel incredibly sad about the situation but I know (she) is going to go to a family who will love her and give her what I cannot give her at the moment.
“She will have stability in her life and will not be one minute with me and then with somebody else.
“She will grow up being happy and cared for for the rest of her life.
“(She) needs to be in a home where she can stay and not be moving around all the time.
“I have not had contact for some time now, not because I do not love (her), but because it is simply too hard for me to go and leave her again.
“I am sad that this situation is happening and it really hurts me but I am doing what is right for her.
“I will always love her, she is my daughter but I am doing this for her.
“I hope she gets placed with a really good family who will love her how I love her and will bring her up right and protect her.
“I hope she gets all the attention in the world from her new family.
“When she is matched with a prospective adoptive family I would like the opportunity to meet them if possible so that they know that (she) is loved by me and can tell her this.
“I am really sorry that it has come to this position but I know I am doing the right thing and I just want her to know that I love her and always will.”
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