Urgent Appeal As Carer Crisis Worsens
For Anne MacDonald becoming a foster parent was the fulfilment of an ambition she had harboured since childhood. Mrs MacDonald is one of more than 2000 foster carers throughout Scotland who have opened up their homes and hearts to some of society’s most vulnerable and needy youngsters.
Mrs MacDonald says: “I grew up in a close knit farming community and as a result I had a very secure and happy childhood. I must have been only nine when I heard the song Nobody’s Child. I remember it so vividly because it made my cry, it was heart breaking.
“It was then my mum told me that some children grow up without parents. I vowed then that I would look after children who weren’t my own.”
Foster Care Fortnight is not only aiming to celebrate the invaluable work families like the MacDonalds do, but arguably more crucially for those in care, it seeks to add to their number.
According to the Fostering Network Scotland, which is running the campaign, there are currently 2653 foster families in Scotland but at least another 1700 are needed.
Bryan Ritchie, director of the Fostering Network Scotland, says the current shortfall means that some children are unnecessarily moved from home to home and that foster carers are frequently being asked to look after four or more children, in addition to their own.
He explains: “A broader pool of foster carers will make it easier to find the right home for each child first time. Although lots of people have heard of fostering, most do not realise that they may be suitable or that there are many different types of fostering, from short-term placements that require one weekend a month to others that last for many years.
“In some cases people choose to foster full-time while others combine fostering with a job outside the home. As long as you have the space, time and commitment, there is a type of foster care that could suit you.”
As part of the two-week campaign, the Fostering Network is also calling on the Scottish Executive to introduce a limit to the number of children that can be placed in any one foster home to three, except for sibling groups. As things stand, Scotland is the only country in the UK that does not impose a limit, which puts excessive pressure on foster families.
Families just like the MacDonalds. A foster carer for more than 10 years, Mrs MacDonald and her husband raised four of their own children in their Kirkintiloch home as well as fostering two children at a time.
Yet in spite of the business, everyone, she says, was happy and thrived. Indeed, her eldest son, Sandy, has since gone on to become a foster carer with his wife.
As long as you have the space, time and commitment, there is a type of foster care that could suit you
Mrs MacDonald says it is vital for anyone considering becoming a carer to understand that their family life need not suffer as a result of fostering. She says: “My advice to anyone is understand and know that what you are trying to do is help families and children. You are not trying to take a child away from their family or add to your own.
“You’re main aim is to provide shelter and care for a child but also to get them home. You’ve also to remember that in fostering you are giving to children. Don’t go into it looking to get back from it.
“It is a challenging 24-hour job but it is so very rewarding. It is so rewarding to see a child thriving while they are with you and then ultimately return home – that’s a great day.”
David and Vanessa Orr, from Edinburgh, have cared for 134 children in the past 20 years, beginning when their own two daughters were five and three. The couple still keep in touch with many of the youngsters who have passed through their doors.
Mrs Orr says: “When I told my mum we were going to start fostering. She said she wasn’t surprised as I used to gather up all the waifs and strays when I was a child. Basically anyone who didn’t have a wee friend to play with a child I’d take them home for tea.
“Having had kids of our own we had the spare room and we just felt that we wanted to give something back. But we didn’t think that we would still be doing it 21 years later,” she says.
The couple, whose two daughters have since left home, now foster three children aged six, four and one. The older children are siblings.
In the early days the Orrs only fostered one child at a time because of space restrictions.
“Then as the years passed and as our daughters grew up and could help us out, we started to foster two children at a time. They would always be a pair of siblings as I couldn’t stand the thought of young children being separated,” says Orr.
“For us the benefits of fostering are numerous. I take a photograph of every child when they arrive and then when they leave. Comparing the two pictures is amazing: you can see the physical difference in their faces. When they arrive, depending on their background, they’re often tense, weary and weak-looking but by the time they leave they look so much stronger and happier. They are able to smile and be much more relax.
“We’ve never considered adoption because we wanted to help kids from families who are having a hard time. For us caring for families isn’t about adding to our own family, we just wanted to look after children who are going through a difficult time. We love having children in our home but we are also happy to see kids return to their homes.”
You quickly realise it’s not just children you help’
Former RAF technician and engineer Tom Matheson and his wife Linda, who live in Evanton, Ross-shire, are relatively new foster carers. Having started in 2005, the couple, who have three children of their own aged 12, nine and eight, are registered childminders as well as foster parents.
They took the decision to become carers after meeting a fellow foster parent who lived in their village. Mr Matheson recalls: “We hadn’t been in Evanton that long when we met another foster carer. Linda and I talked about it as an option for us and we thought, yeah, we can do that’.
“Our children were used to having children round all the time but we asked them how they would feel if they were in the house all the time and they didn’t bat an eyelid. When we explained to them we had to look after children 24 hours a day, they were more supportive and looking forward to it.
“We were keen to help individual children but you quickly realise it is not just children you are helping it is families as well. Because a child turned over to foster care doesn’t necessarily come from a broken home or has suffered abuse, it might just that the parents need a break. We had a family of three come for 10 days because their mum was having a baby.”
Children they have fostered include a brother and sister for 10 months and a three-week-old baby straight from the special care baby unit.
It has not always been easy and they have had some challenging children stay with them. “You’ve really got to be understanding of the issue which the child is bringing with them and work with the child and listen and see how you can help and encourage them,” Mr Matheson says.
“Often the children are coming to stay with complete strangers and whatever the reason, whether they are coming to stay through abuse or neglect, it is a traumatic step for a child so you have to be extremely tolerant of their behaviour.”
And it is not only the children’s behaviour he has found tricky to deal with. Mr Matheson says: “Whenever I tell people what I do, as a man working in childcare, there is always a pause.
“However, when we talk about foster care, most people say they have considered it but didn’t think they could do it. Because of the shortage I always encourage them.”