Woman asks for forgiveness from beyond grave for choosing abusive priest over sister

A woman asked for forgiveness from beyond the grave for choosing the “love” of a priest who abused her over her sister, an inquiry has heard.

The witness, who cannot be named, gave evidence to the Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry on Friday in a recording made before her death in 2015.

The audio recording had been sealed in two envelopes for safekeeping, which she signed and dated.

In it, the woman, who stayed at Nazareth House in Kilmarnock during the 1960s and 1970s, said: “When I was aged 11 to 12 you used to be allowed to go out with (a priest) at the weekends.

“I loved him. He would tell me that he loved me too.

“That was my first ever sexual experience. I loved him so much and I thought he loved me too.

“I never ever thought of what (he) was doing as being sexual abuse. He made me feel special.”

The inquiry heard that one night at the Catholic-run orphanage the woman saw her sister being raped by the same priest.

The woman said: “I felt so angry towards her. I hated her. He was (mine), now he was having sex with her.

“I heard her crying in bed, but I said nothing.

“That needs to be my dying confession, I have only got a few weeks left.

“I can’t tell (her) face-to-face. I am so ashamed, I picked my love for (him) over her and I never checked that she was ok and I never asked.

“I just hope my sister can forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

Another witness who has since died told how she mutilated her own body to avoid being molested by a nun while staying at Nazareth House in Cardonald, Glasgow, in the 1940s and 50s.

Her evidence was recorded in a diary, with some help from a relative, before she died in January.

A relative told the inquiry how a nun would touch the then-child’s “private parts”.

She said: “She had inflicted so much damage.”

Diary entries described her arrival at the children’s home as the “beginning of her nightmares”.

It was heard a nun lifted her garment and had her “do things no child of God should do”.

The diary added: “Hell is where they all belong.”

The inquiry before Lady Smith in Edinburgh continues on Tuesday.

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