Stepmothers struggling over relationship with stepchildren, study finds

By The Press Association7th December 2016News EnglandChildrens Services, Families, News Scotland, Relationships

Stepmothers have more problems getting on with their stepchildren than men do, research has found.

About 65% of stepfathers reported good relationships with their stepchildren compared with 57% of stepmothers, according to the Happy Families? report from relationships charities Relate and Relationships Scotland.

The findings come as the charities anticipate a sharp rise in the number of people contacting them for relationship support in the new year, as Christmas piles on additional pressure.

The report, which analysed a survey of more than 5,000 adults and included 700 step-parents – 351 stepmothers and 349 stepfathers – shows that parents’ relationships with stepchildren are of lower quality than with their biological children.

Overall, 61% of step-parents reported good relationships with their stepchildren, in contrast to the 91% who reported good relationships with their own children.

In January, Relate saw a 39% increase in calls to their national phone line, and a 31% increase in users of their national website.

Professor Tanya Byron, a clinical psychologist and Relate patron who works closely with many families, said: “These findings indicate some of the challenges families can face following the breakdown of a relationship and blending families.

“People might think it’s inevitable and no cause for concern that some stepmums and stepchildren are struggling to build good quality relationships.

“Yet stepfamilies make up 11% of families with dependent children in the UK – that’s over half a million families. If many aren’t getting on, it’s a real threat to the wellbeing of a huge group of people.

“Stepmums can feel pressure to be maternal and are more likely to face rejection from their stepchildren, and stepkids can find themselves caught between biological parents and new family members.

“A key piece of advice is not to rush things – start by getting to know your stepchildren rather than trying to be a parent. Take an interest in them but bear in mind that love and trust are things that take time to develop.

“Christmas can be a time when issues within blended families come to the surface. If you’re experiencing any difficulties, we’d urge you to contact Relate at the earliest possible stage.”