I was in care.. now I want to change idea that all kids in residential units are trouble

DONNA GOODWIN can’t forget the dirty looks from neighbours of the residential unit where she lived and how unwanted it made her feel.

As a young woman in care in Edinburgh, Donna knew there was nothing she could do to avoid the judgment and suspicion that was part of the package that came with being placed in care.

She said: “You could hear the neighbours’ doors double-locking as you walked down the street.

“It was a terrible feeling to know that people just didn’t want you around.

“Children are labelled as trouble as soon as they are placed in care.

“But the reason they are there is rarely their own fault.

“All they want is a fair chance. I didn’t do anything that warranted that reaction from neighbours.”

A campaign was launched by charity Who Cares? Scotland last week to call for that fair chance.

They fight for the rights of children in care, giving them advocacy and support.

Donna is now a confident and optimistic young woman, but her start in life was tough.

Along with her younger brother and sister, she was placed in care when she was 12 because her father was a drug addict and her mother was in and out of prison for petty crimes.

Every Saturday, Donna was driven from the unit to Cornton Vale Prison to visit her mum.

She said: “It was difficult. It is no fun visiting your mum in prison. There were times when I really needed to talk to my mum and I couldn’t. I was never really close to her because she wasn’t there.

“Every teenage girl needs their mum at times. I was angry with her when I was younger because she wasn’t around.

“It was only as an adult that I realised she had her own struggles and had her reasons for doing things. Now we get on really well.”

But being in care made Donna feel she was constantly under scrutiny and, at the mainstream school she attended, the assumption was that she was a delinquent.

The 22-year-old said: “I used to feel stigmatised when I was at school. People used to ask what I had done wrong to have landed in care. They didn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t my fault.

“As soon as people heard I was in care, they would treat me differently.”

Most children are in residential units because they are at risk of neglect, abuse or violence.

But in a recent survey more than one third of people thought they were in care because of unruly behaviour.

Neighbours in the street where Donna was housed campaigned to get rid of the residential unit.

Heather Gray, chief executive of Who Cares? Scotland, said the charity’s campaign, Give Me A Chance, was desperately needed to change public perceptions of youngsters in care.

Heather said: “For many years, the children and young people we work with have complained of being bullied, blamed or written off just because they are in care.

“They speak of the hurt and shame when other children’s parents try to stop them being their friends, when teachers expect them to fail rather than succeed, and when neighbours’ first reaction to any trouble in the area is to point the finger at the local children’s unit.”

Donna said the children were hurt by the neighbourhood campaign to have them moved.

She said: “It is hard enough to settle in to a strange place. Knowing you are not wanted just makes it so much harder.”

She had her own room in the unit but found group living difficult at first.

It took time, but gradually she bonded with the other children and felt she always had the love and protection of the workers in the unit.

“There were more ups than downs,” said Donna. “The staff were always there for me. The support they gave me was incredible. They encouraged us to have our own independence. We had to make our own beds and do our washing and chores.

“But the most important thing was they always supported us emotionally. If I had a row with my mum and was angry or upset, they would talk it through with me. They never lost patience.

“You do get very mixed up young people in care. They have been through a lot and there are tears and tantrums, but the staff handled us all really well.

“The biggest thing kids in care can’t stand is broken promises. But in my experience, the staff didn’t break their promises to me and I will always be grateful to them. They deserve a medal for the job they do.”

Her relationship with her mother has improved and as a woman she now sees that she had her own battles to fight.

Donna has found forgiveness for both her parents.

“I see that my mother did things for her own reasons,” she said. “She might have been doing the wrong thing but she was trying to do right.”

Her father was a heroin addict but she believes he did try to be a decent father, but that in many ways he couldn’t cope.

She said: “He had a long struggle with drugs and did go on a methadone programme to get off them. He never gave up hope of getting his kids back.”

Her father died last year and, although she had left the residential unit when she was 16, the staff there helped her to cope with her grief.

She said: “Even although I had left the unit, they were still there for me when my dad died.

“I still meet staff for lunch. They care even when it’s no longer their job.”

Donna now has her own flat and plans to go to college in the hope that she can work in social care.

“I feel that more people like me who have been through the system could contribute to it,” she said.

“I think that by being through it myself, I would have an understanding of what children are going through. I wouldn’t have all the answers but I might have some of them.”

As she looks back, Donna believes that being in care was the safest and best place for her.

But she is sorry that she couldn’t have been raised in a loving and caring environment with her mother and father, brother and sister.

She said: “I don’t resent that I didn’t have that kind of upbringing, but I do regret it. I regret that my mother wasn’t there and that I had to go into care at all.”

For more information about Who Cares? Scotland’s campaign, log on to www.givemeachance scotland.org or call 0141 226 4441