6 Ways to Make Yourself More Charming
Even if we think we’re charming, there are times when we know we could have done better.
If we are being told we’re not charming, these tips may well be helpful.
1. Be Present
One thing that’s rude – and we don’t always realise how rude – is when we’re physically with somebody but we’re clearly not engaged with them. Intuitively the person will see that our eye contact is not good or that our nonverbal behaviour is out of sync with what they’re saying. We might nod in the wrong place, for example. This is very off-putting for the individual we’re speaking with. If ever you find yourself on the receiving end of such behaviour, you will know just how awful they’re being made to feel.
2. Look Beyond Yourself
The people who are most charming are just natural. They are very comfortable in their own skin. When you have that level of personal confidence, it is so much easier to look out of yourself and engage more fully with the person or people that you’re with.
3. Show Interest
If you’re completely wound up in your own life, what chance have you of genuinely showing interest in somebody else? The answer to that is no chance, because you are too full of yourself, your world and your issues. You’ve left no space to show an interest in other people, certainly not in an authentic way.
4. Learn to Listen Harder
If you listen more actively, the likelihood is you will learn more. The more you learn, the more you listen, the more you understand and the more charming you will be to the person you have been speaking to. In a world that is noisy, where time is under so much pressure in our lives, it’s a wonderful experience to be heard and anybody who has that facility to listen is going to be judged by their colleague, friend or family member as being more charming.
5. Ask Questions to Be More Curious
The better we listen, the more curious we can become. We become better questioners in order to satisfy our intrigue. We can’t help it. What we naturally learn to do is to ask more open questions. This gives the person you’re speaking with more space to think and to answer your questions, which themselves are likely to become more powerful.
6. Understand the Power of Pleasantries
When somebody says hello and greets you by looking in your eyes warmly, they show a level of charm towards you. If they then also back this up with some really basic behaviours like using “Please” and “Thank you” and smiling when their eyes meet yours, the total package is irresistible. It is true that people who behave in this civilised way are going to be people who are more memorable to those with whom they’ve interacted. In a world where relationships are more and more important and time is less and less available to us, this type of behaviour helps us become more charming to our fellow humans.
About the author
Simon North is the Founder of Position Ignition and the Career Ignition Club. Position Ignition is one of the UK’s leading career change and career development companies. The Career Ignition Club offers a range of career support tools, advice and e-learning materials for its members. Follow Simon North and his team on Twitter @PosIgnition and get more advice from him on their Career Advice Blog.
